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A story about life


This little place is intended to give you some information about the guy behind this blog and the Firefox V4-theme. So, let’s have a go at it:

Named Martin Baranski, I opened my eyes for the very first time on March 3rd, 1986. Though, the Internet also knows me as “Eagle” or sometimes “Eagle3386”. My home is situated in a small village called Albernau which can be found in the southeastern part of Germany, Europe. But since September, 2009 I’m also living in Hildesheim, a town lying in the south of Hannover in Lower Saxony.

That said, it’s quite clear that English isn’t my mother-tongue, though I’m trying my best to learn as much as possible to reach a level where I’m perfect1) in my way of speaking and writing English.
I’m trying to reach this, because I don’t know any easier language, but at the same time having that much possibilities when it comes to variation of words.

Regarding me as a human being with all its faults and little idiosyncrasies, I have to say that I do have them and one of them is quite obviously if you meet me in real life: attention deficit disorder, or in short: ADD.
Fortunately, the way my ADD can be described isn’t very complicated: I am neither hyperactive nor a fidget. But people can draw off my attention very quickly and as you might know, that’s not always a good thing..
Though, I got quite a weak form of ADD and therefore I can control it up to a certain point by myself. If that point is reached, I need to take a little break2 and afterwards, all things are back at normal.. ;)

Besides all this, there’s one everlasting love inside my heart which can’t be taken off of me, because I need it like everyone needs air to breathe: Power Metal — this special style of Metal music keeps me alive, hour by hour, day by day, year by year..

This “love” started while I was listening to bands like Europe, Bon Jovi or Bryan Adams. These guys make great music, but there was a time their style was still great, but also missing a little bit more speed.
While I was a DJ for an Internet-radio, I played different styles of rock and metal and one day, there was a user requesting a song from Freedom Call. That song, named “Warriors”, was just so awesome! So I went to my favorite music store (Amazon.de ;))) and listened to several songs of these guys.. — About one or two days later, I received a package from Amazon, containing all 3 CDs currently available in Germany3..

Approximately one year later, I had heard several bands like Rammstein4, Helloween and Sonata Arctica5 and also Rhapsody6. But although these bands make great stuff, there was still a little bit missing which I couldn’t really define until I created an account at Last.FM..

It happened 3 or 4 days after registering at their website: I listened to the radio-stream and there was this song called “Valley Of The Damned”. Guys, those lyrics were so endlessly cool, deep and expressive — I wanted more, more, MORE!!!

Amazon was really helpful again and now, after having their albums heard many times, I still can’t get enough.. :D

[TODO: make page-break working again]

Sometimes, I got quite “twisted” moments, e. g. I’m asking myself if all this is it worth fighting for or if it makes sense to get back on my feet once again after been knocked down by whatever put me down..
Such moments are rare, but they randomly occur and at the end of 2007, I couldn’t find any good reason for getting back up again. It turned even worse when I asked myself what might happen if I crash into a wall with my car while driving at about 180 kilometers per hour.. Luckily, there were guys like my dearest friend Axel “Freak” Hartwig, Cindy “Snowflake” Jacob and Sebastian “exe/de” Wienhold around. They helped me through that time by staying close to me and giving words of wisdom.. Of course, Power Metal from HammerFall, Helloween and DragonForce did their part, too..

After I fought through this very painful time, I was quite satisfied with my life: I had finished my apprenticeship, got a job with awesome coworkers7 and life went a pretty good way — at least, I thought so..
But there was that one piece missing: the woman at my side. You know that it’s not perfect if there’s no girl..

So, I tried. I really tried hard and did a lot of stuff which nowadays makes me ask myself: “How dumb could you be that you believed, she’s was the one?”.
Summing it all up, there were three big loves in my life: the first girl came in when I had almost finished high-school and started my studies at the university of cooperative education in Dresden, Germany.
Named Kathleen and being only 4 days younger than me, we had a great time together.
Though, after about six months or so, there was a silver wedding of a friend of her8. As you can imagine, there were many people attending the party and one invitee was that girls second cousin or great-uncle. He, a 23 year old corporal at the time, managed to create what I probably never could: it was a coup de foudre.
She told me that she couldn’t decide between him and me. But as usual in my life back then, she chose him for plausible reasons9: with his higher salary, he offered the safer port when compared to me, the student with way less money. Well, for some of us, money seems to be way more important than feelings..
Oh, yeah.. I almost forgot: he’s now a truck driver and she is pregnant with an expected date of delivery around September 2011 and I’m on my way to a professional software engineer — who is “safer” now?

But going separate ways with her was like a complete breakdown for me. Honestly, it took me almost four years of my life to overcome the thinking of her and the pain it raised! Though, I managed to overcome it, when the second girl appeared in my life: Anne.
Her body had/has a portly figure, but that didn’t count for me that much. Her face, especially those green eyes10, were so beautiful. Being almost a three-quarter year older than me, her expectations regarding life and “public behavior” where high.
Now, I’m not a dumbass who knows nothing about manners. But she always had to have something to gripe about.
We were an item for roughly nine months when our relationship broke up. Though, looking back for a moment, I remember eight and a half month of time I recalled the first two great weeks over and over again — obviously no good base for a long-term relationship..
In the final discussion, she even made me offend common decency: we talked about marriage in the future and she insisted to get married in white. Although I deny God’s existence, I would have married her in church just for her sake.

Unfortunately, in order to do that, I had to sign a paper, because I was not confirmed.
It was that paper which started to raise my anger: it obliged me to raise our planned children in a churchly way and that is a absolute no-go for me!
She pushed me even further, when I told her about my plan of building a little chapel so that her dream would still become true, she replied: “But it wouldn’t be sanctified!” — my answer was pretty straightforward: “I can throw a drink of water over it, then it’s sanctified!”

[To be continued..]
  1. Almost at least.. ; []
  2. E. g. going out to get a sniff or something like that.. []
  3. The “Taragon”-EP was purchased some weeks later. []
  4. Only some songs suit my taste. []
  5. Quite a lot from the older albums.. []
  6. Now known as “Rhapsody Of Fire”; also only some songs.. []
  7. Though the payment was way too low.. []
  8. A woman named Sandra who lived or still lives in Thuringia.. []
  9. Well, _her_ plausible reasons, not mine.. []
  10. At least, I believe to remember that color.. []

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