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Here I am, the invisible man..

.. a lost fallen angel, helping mankind where I can01

But since a couple of weeks I’m asking myself one single question again and again and again and […]: Why is it me? :?
I’m talking about stuff, I’m hardly able to describe — so many fears, sorrows and so much pain, too. I’ve never ever won a prize02 and still I’m the one who has to pay for it.03
No, no, I don’t want to whine or cry all the day and even in the night — I’m far beyond that point, quite close to the “OK, my life is pure shit — but I won’t look down and give up!”-point. :(
At least I thought so.. At least until last Monday.. At least as long as my mind wasn’t shattered.. — But then Monday morning came and with it the mailman who gave me a registered mail. Damn, I’d have been better off staying in bed.. :x

The letter was from the university04 and the examination board wrote that my request for a second resit has been declined.. :(
This isn’t a big thing for me as I started studying because I wanted to know if my skills are good enough for it. But my apprenticeship is bound to the studies, so in other words: no second resit, no studies, no apprenticeship — and here in Germany it’s quite hard to find an apprenticeship for people who want to train as a software developer..

Some of you might say “Tough luck!”, that I didn’t learn enough or things like that. But in fact, I did my best and therefore I think I should get paid05. Unfortunately, life didn’t pay back so far..

Anyway, as stated above, I’m not a man who whines — instead, I bear misery, keeping my dreams in mind for the day they will come true06 and as long as I get knocked down by life, I will stand up, again and again and again and […]

Theme development was on hold for a while now — it’s time for going on, right? ;)

So, stay tuned, because I’m going to continue my work since I’ve seen people using my theme07! :)
Cheers,

Martin.. :)
  1. Yes, another quote and of course it’s a Helloween song: “The Invisible Man” []
  2. Only the junior-edition of Trivial Pursuit when I was about 10 or 12.. []
  3. And I can’t remember a different situation.. :x []
  4. As you might know, I’m studying at an university of cooperative education. So it’s not a fully-qualified university.. []
  5. With “paid” I mean some “prizes” which I (in my humble opinion) deserve and not “plain” money.. []
  6. And they will, for sure! []
  7. This is really a source of power for me: discovering people using the stuff I’ve created. []
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