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The Warrior Inside

.. Take my hand, this one last time
Face the world before us, the warrior inside
In a lifetime of disaster, it’s a battle to the end,
Final stand, my life must carry on,
And forever, this time..1

So, this is it, guys! I’m blogging once again, putting some letters together in an attempt to build so called “words” which might make sense and form kinda “sentence”? — No, it’s _a lot_ more complicated this time..

You guys must know that I had a car accident on 2007-11-05 while I drove to my training center back then.. No, no, I was ok, no broken legs or something like that — just fender blender, but that’s where the problems raised.. :(

The cops came and took photos, asked questions about how the accident happened, etc. But although I called my insurance company2 at the same day, it ought to took about t-h-r-e-e months for the police to finally complete their investigation.. — Meanwhile my insurance company was “kind” enough to issue a company-internal investigation which resulted in the company to pay the other guy while his company refused to do so3..

After my insurance company had paid the other guy and the police told me that I’m the one who had to bear the blame, I was pretty shocked.. — I mean, being able to look about 1-2 km at 06:45 in the morning and getting rammed by someone whose side mirror had kinda “touchdown” on your fender4 just while you were overtaking cars5 is pretty easy to judge, huh?6

But no, the police didn’t see it like that, my insurance company didn’t see it like that and a whole bunch of other people, including my grandma, my mom (!) and my mom’s friend, didn’t see it like that — except my grandpa7, Axel, Sebastian and of course my attorney..

And it took long.. Days passed by.. Weeks.. — Even months! I had to lodge an opposition for this and for that.. But I kept my head high and took all those setbacks, because I knew I was _completely_ right and my faith in justice was too strong to get broken..

Finally, on 2008-06-108 the appropriate county court arrested judgment on my case, freeing me from the fine and also from getting points on my demerit point system’s account.. — But that’s only half the battle, because the lawsuit against the other guy and his insurance company is still going on9 and will hopefully finish until the end of September..

So, now we’re at the point why I picked that quote of DragonForce’s newest song called “The Warrior Inside”10..
Always remember: justice may take its time and that may be a long run, but in the end there will be justice — and for as long as I’m going to breathe, I will stand my ground and I will serve justice every single day with everything I can afford!

Take care,
Martin.. :)
  1. DragonForce — The Warrior Inside []
  2. And the other guy’s one, too! []
  3. Although, rules force insurance companies to pay the opposing party first, then clarify who has to pay how much — AFAIK at least.. []
  4. Right before your windshield! []
  5. Which didn’t start or tried to start something similar.. []
  6. Especially when there’s a law forcing drivers to look over their shoulder before attempting to start overtaking cars.. []
  7. Who means almost more than my mother to me! []
  8. Almost nine months after the actual accident! []
  9. Germany law distinguishes between civil and penal law.. []
  10. Only available via YouTube.com ATM.. []

Bye, Bye, Beautiful

Did you ever hear what I told you?
Did you ever read what I wrote you?
Did you ever listen to what we played?
Did you ever let in what the world said?
Did we get this far just to feel your hate?
Did we play to become only pawns in the game?
How blind can you be, don’t you see:
You chose the long road, but we’ll be waiting..1

Well, this time neither DragonForce nor HammerFall lyrics, but again one from Nightwish.. The reason is simple: up to now, this track spins about 80% of the time I’m running Winamp.. :D
Though, there are indeed special things going on in my personal “real life”, so I thought that I could use “unusual” lyrics/artists once again.. ;)

As the day is drawing to a close, this post needs to be done a little bit faster than I usually do posts here.. So, let’s make the story not too big and let’s get down to business:

About a week ago, I finally signed up my employment contract with a company operating in the integrated store processes-sector.. The signing itself was quite “strange” as my hand which held the Biro was a little bit shaking, but that might be due to several dreams coming true:

  • Getting a job after two years at a technical college full of stubborn and arrogant teachers is just amazing — especially, when the employment contract is open-ended!

  • Doing a job which is almost exactly what you expected your job would be like is nearly unbelievable..

  • Earning enough money to pay the bill(s) and still having some money that you can save for your “next big dream”2 gives me a feeling I can hardly describe — it’s just overwhelming!

  • The workmates seem to be really great3!

  • The company absolutely believes in the idea that only satisfied employees are employees who put 100% of their effort into their job and therefore offer a great work climate — YEEEEES!!

I also met a new friend.. Christin is her name.. No guys, it’s _not_ that type of “friend”, she’s more like a sister to me than a girlfriend.. :P

And yes, the smilies will be changed back to Nomicons soon! :)

Uh, quite a “rough” post this time.. But I’ve got to go and get some sleep4..

Take care,
Martin.. :D
  1. Nightwish — Bye, Bye, Beautiful []
  2. Just use Google to get some pics of VW’s “IROC”.. ;) []
  3. Especially the female ones.. :D []
  4. I had only 8 hours in the last 48 hours.. :( []

See through the lies..

.. and their ever staring eyes
Now is the time to defend your ground
Destiny will call, to remind us all
Now fly free, so far from here
This life we know will end
In dreams of everlasting pain
The fallen now rise again1

As this blog is all about a life’s trouble, I want to pour out my woes to the world this time..

So, let’s get things right: my life sucked.. It wasn’t completely worthless since my mates were always around, keeping me alive by providing kinda “life support”, words of advice and stuff like that.. And they’re also always the ones I can count on whenever life comes in with another hit right into my face..

But honestly, I don’t want to complain about all those troubles2) as it simply wouldn’t help.. And so, I just keep asking myself “Who the fuck feels so pissed off that I get knocked down again — just one second after I regain my feet?” Because every single way towards the finish line is full of obstacles somebody put in my way3..

I really don’t know where my life’s going to4), but I’m still hoping that things will be better — _soon_!

Though, I’m facing a typical German proverb right now: being right doesn’t necessarily mean that you are in the right5! — Or as a long story:

Read the rest of this entry »

  1. DragonForce — The Flame Of Youth []
  2. Hey, I _am_ right here, in the center of the TroubleZone! ; []
  3. No, I won’t give up — it simply doesn’t exist within my vocabulary! []
  4. Does anyone know this? ; []
  5. I couldn’t find a “correct” equivalent idiom for this, so I tried my best to “built” one.. []

Last Man Standing..

This is how I feel1:

I… I am the one
The one… Who lost control
Control… But in the end I’d be the
Last man standing

I… I am the one
The one… Who sold his soul
His soul… Forever gone to be the
Last man standing tall

Glorious, noble in my mind
Everything — a fight to win
Taking all and giving
Whatever my pride would let me
Not backing down, not giving in
I wouldn’t lose, I couldn’t


I walk alone
With my head held high
Never felt that I belong
Stand my ground at all costs
Running through life with blindfolds
Just for the right, right to be wrong

Nothing would rule my world but…


[Solo — Stefan Elmgren]

Nothing would rule my world but…

[Chorus — 2x]

Seeing clearer what I’ve done
I’d refuse to let things go
I could never once admit I’m wrong
And what do I had to show?

Seeing clearer what’s at stake
And the things I have to change
I just hope I can, it’s not too late
To get a chance to end this pain
  1. There’s not more to come for personal reasons this time, sorry.. []

You hit rock bottom..

.. and you stood the count to ten
Came back to harvest glory, now your star will shine again1..

Guys, this is a very, very special post for me.. Not only because I’m going to release the most recent update for Firefox V2 within the next 2 weeks, but also because of something I thought it won’t ever happen to me..

I know that we’re all hoping for this moment to come and that most of us will get to this point one day.. But I travelled on earth for about 5 years, went through hell like walking an endless road and life tormented me mercilessly..
Of course, I always got my friends around, helping me up2.. But if you get knocked down again and again, you might reach the point where life isn’t life anymore, but a cycle of situations you want to escape from.. — The only problem: you just can’t break out of that loop.. It just keeps you inside, because you’ve lost too much power and then, the burden of years got just too big3..

So, what should you do? What would you do? Trying to break out of that loop again and again? — Easier said than done, guys.. Trust me, I tried.. Oh yes, I really did.. But I couldn’t get what I wanted — and I didn’t wanted to get what I could..
But then everything turned into what you all have seen on TV.. I found myself in a new perspective, much, much better and within some days, everything changed dramatically.. I felt the power again.. I felt the strength again.. — I felt love again!

Ironically, we all have butterflies in our stomach when we fall in love — but this time, things were4 different, because instead I felt a pleasant feeling of warmth within my heart and also within my soul.. And every single day, I gain more and more power from this feeling, but also the “hunger” for her increases day by day..
Lydi5 is this angel6 normally called and she’s like the blood within my veins — I can feel it pulsing through me and without it, I just couldn’t live without..

The craziest thing about our love is actually the fact that this time, it wasn’t me who talked to a girl, but a girl who talked to me.. So, the odds are in our favour, I guess.. ;)
All that said, I’m in a mood, where others might call me “stoned” or say that I’m “hopeless” — none of that is true! But how would you feel after your most fervent wish came true? ;)

Take care & all the best,
Martin.. :D
  1. HammerFall — yet again, this time it’s “The Fire Burns Forever” []
  2. A very, very huge “Thanks!” goes out to Axel Hartwig, Nico Seiberth and Sebastian Wienhold — ordered by their last name alphabetically ! []
  3. Feels a bit like described by Sonata Arctica within their song “8th Commandment” []
  4. And are! []
  5. Actually, Lydia is her real name, but I prefer the shorter one.. ;) []
  6. Who has her 21st birthday soon.. :D []

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